‘If a book or a poem or a song or a piece of advice speaks to you, it is only because it helped you to translate your own heart to language.’ (McTamaney, 2007).

Discovering Montessori philosophy gave concise language to my heartfelt ideas about children and education and then went a step further to provide strategies and practical applications.  I was inspired as a teacher seven years ago by this education that caters to the child’s spirit – an education of the heart, hands and mind. Now I am being inspired in my new Montessori role – as an expectant parent of a baby boy! 
 
Montessori’s ideas about freedom, independence and respect have driven me as a teacher. These same principles are influencing my hopes and plans for impending parenthood. I know that ideals and reality can be different, and not all my pre-parenting wishes will be fulfilled, but by being guided by a strong set of beliefs, I hope I will have a conscious and consistent approach to parenting. 
 
Dr Montessori recognised the child’s inner drive for independence and the adult’s role to aid this. ‘The adult must give and do what is necessary for the child to act for [themself]…’ (Montessori, 1956, p154).  For me this will mean preparing an environment to enable my son to be successful in doing tasks for himself, such as his daily care tasks and allowing him to concentrate, think for himself and solve his own problems.

My view of freedom for my son is the Montessori view of freedom with limits – liberty but not licence!  I want my son to be free to develop according to the nature of childhood and to be able to express himself by making choices.  Dr Montessori recognised that children have a pace that is different from an adult’s and I hope to not always be rushing him and having him fit into my speed.
 
Respect will form the basis of our family life, positively influencing my son’s feelings of self worth and relationships with others. I strongly believe that every unique stage of childhood should be respected as its own worthwhile stage, not merely as a precursor to the next stage.  There can be such an emphasis on ‘preparation’ but I believe you prepare a child for the future by allowing them to live in their today and meet their current needs.  Respect is about trust in the child and the belief that children can drive their own development if we allow them to.  This negates the need for conscious adult-driven ‘preparation’ and highlights the importance of respecting a child’s self-chosen activities, their need for repetition and viewing their play as their vital work.
 
As a Montessori teacher we follow the child to aid both their development and our own.  As a parent I also hope to take the lead from my son to aid him in developing his own personality, as well as developing myself as a parent because, as Dr Montessori said, ‘We are here to offer to this life, which came into the world by itself, the means necessary for its development, and having done that we must await this development with respect’ (1969, p134).

Tessa McTaylor 
April 2008

As a Montessori teacher I chose to follow the Montessori approach with its respectful view of children as intelligent, active learners from birth.  As a new parent I have also chosen to apply Montessori principles so I can take a ‘conscious’ approach to parenting with these same beliefs about my son, Lincoln. 

I have learned that some aspects of the philosophy become far more meaningful in practice. Dr Montessori believed that ‘no child can lead a regular life in the complex world of the adult’ (1956, p64).  An adult-sized environment creates obstacles for young children and the pace and ‘rhythm’ of children differs from that of adults.  While I stated the importance of this during my pregnancy, it has surprised me that this has become of paramount importance since Lincoln’s arrival.  I have become passionate about living Lincoln’s life with him, rather than having him merely as an addition to my adult-paced life. This has created the conscious approach to parenting I had hoped for and by slowing the pace of life down and putting his needs first, having a baby  has truly become the life-changing event people say it is!

I have also learned that some ideas are far easier in theory than in practical application.  In the Montessori philosophy we are prompted to take our lead from the child.  Dr Montessori also valued routine and with a newborn with no obvious sense of order these two concepts seemed like two opposing theories.  I settled this dilemma for myself by viewing routine as being about predictability rather than a timetable or schedule.  I wanted Lincoln to develop trust that his needs would be met and he would receive a consistent response to his early demands.  Now he is 14 weeks old I am managing to combine ‘following the child’ and a routine more successfully by following his cues as the basis to a routine and then ‘tweaking’ to make it effective for both of us.

Some aspects of the philosophy have been more straightforward.  The calmness associated with a Montessori environment has strongly influenced our early days. I strongly believe that the level of stress in babies can often be attributed to the level of stress in parents so aim to keep our expectations reasonable and our days manageable. 

Providing an environment which promotes a sensorial education from birth has also been a natural progression from teaching.   Dr Montessori saw babies as ‘full and complete human beings...absorbing every sight, sound, smell and touch that they experience’ (Seldin, 2007, p23).  Lincoln is given plenty of time each day for free movement and exploration and I am excited about his growing ability to use his hands to explore and the possibilities this creates.  He enjoys being outdoors and I make sure the natural environment also plays a role in his day.
 
While adopting a Montessori approach has not eliminated the difficulties all new parents face, it has provided me with a framework for conscious, respectful parenting and given me a ‘yardstick’ to measure all advice against.  It has also allowed me to add a new perspective and depth to my Montessori experience and not move away from this philosophy I am passionate about while I take a break from teaching.

References
Montessori, M.  (1956). The Child in the Family.  Pan Books: London.
Seldin, T.  (2007).  How to Raise an Amazing Child.  Dorling Kindersley Limited: London.

Tessa McTaylor 
September 2008

An essential Montessori principle is that children hold the key to their own development, knowing what it is they need to focus on at any given time. Montessori called this a child’s ‘inner guide’ and her advice to parents was that ‘the greatest help you can give your children is freedom to go about their work in their own way, for in this matter your child knows better than you’ (Montessori, in Seldin & Epstein, 2003, p51). 

As a preschool teacher this inner guide presented itself through a child’s choice of activities, whereas for Lincoln I am noticing it clearly in the development of controlled movement, and in particular, his repetition as he learns a new skill. For example, when he learned to roll from his back to his tummy, he repeated this action over and over until the movement became fluid and deliberate.  From his initial attempts at the beginning of a week, he built up to performing this action more than 20 times a day, and in this way expressed the ‘self-perfecting’ tendency that Montessori recognised.  

A concrete and recognisable characteristic of the Montessori approach is the Montessori materials.  I think that as teachers it is easy to become overly focused on the materials themselves and give less attention to the real ‘spirit’ of Montessori.  Seldin and Epstein (2003) point out that while many people assume the materials are what make the ‘Montessori Method’, the materials are a result of the real ‘method’ - observation. 

I am finding that in my parenting role, and with Lincoln’s age group, there is a freedom from materials which then allows you to focus on the far more important, but less concrete, aspects of the Montessori philosophy. Of course, Lincoln does have play objects but in many of the areas with the most remarkable development – movement, communication, responsiveness, predicting of routines – the only materials he needs are himself, and the people and life going on around him.   What he needs from me is not so much to provide ‘things’ but to provide opportunities for freedom and independence in moving and controlling his body and developing his concentration and above all, to observe how his inner guide is presenting itself and how I can then support him.  In this way I can offer materials as intended in Montessori – as an aid to development, but with Lincoln as the key focus, not the actual materials.

Dr Silvana Montanaro, a leader in Montessori education for 0-3 year-olds explains that to support a young child’s development, the environment must ‘assist in the expression of life’ (in Stephenson, 2003, p12).  For me, Lincoln’s ‘expression of life’ is about his emerging personality.  At six months old he is displaying character traits and definite patterns of behaviour, or ‘Lincoln ways’ of relating to his world and the people and experiences within it.  I find it so exciting that he is anything but a carbon copy of us, or anyone we have met before. 

A real attraction of Montessori for me is its recognition that each child is unique, or as Dr Montessori put it so nicely, each child has ‘[their] own distinctive spirit, as if [they] were a natural work of art’ (in Seldin & Epstein, 2003, p191).  I look forward to learning more about Lincoln each day, and my next challenge is to assist with the ‘expression of life’ in a new environment, as we spend two weeks in Shanghai, China!

References
Seldin, T. & Epstein, P.  (2003). The Montessori Way.  Todd Allen Printing: Maryland.
Stephenson, S.M.  (2003). The Joyful Child: Michael’s Olaf’s Essential Montessori for Birth to Three.  The Michael Olaf Company: California.

Tessa McTaylor
December 2008

‘Montessori taught that a child who feels respected and competent will develop a far greater level of emotional well being than a child who is simply loved and doted upon.’ (Seldin, 2007, p.18). 

While my love for Lincoln is too immense to put into words and I certainly do my fair share of doting, I know that as his primary caregiver I need to do more than just adore him!  Strongly influenced by both attachment-style parenting and the Montessori philosophy, our earliest days together were largely spent ‘simply loving’ and bonding, but as his needs grow more complex so does my role in responding to these needs.

Showing respect to a very young child does take a conscious effort.  I believe the key is in allowing time for Lincoln and his slower pace of life and I have learned respect is not shown through one action but a series of seemingly small things that add up to create a large impact.  For example, rather than simply handing Lincoln a toy to bring in the pram I offer him a choice of two to select for himself, and instead of carrying him up our internal staircase, he crawls up all 17 stairs on his own.   Lincoln interacts very enthusiastically with a neighbourhood dog, Lenny, and I make the conscious effort to take Lincoln out the pram for a ‘visit’ whenever we meet.  I give these meetings with Lenny the same importance as taking the time to stop to chat to one of my friends.

Dr Montessori warned against habitually ‘serving’ a child because it goes against a child’s natural drive for independence.  Lincoln’s independence at this young age may seem minimal – pulling off his own socks, putting his arms through his sleeves and feeding himself the food placed on a spoon, but the feeling of competence he develops is far more significant than the actual action he is performing.  This is reiterated by Lillard and Jessen (2003) who say that ‘The significance of independence for the human child...is the view that it gives of the self’ (p.20).  I need to constantly ask myself if the action I am performing for Lincoln is something he could do for himself as it is easy to forget to shift my expectations to meet his fast rate of development.

Lincoln’s environment is set up for him to be independent and exercise the freedom of choice that is so important to the Montessori philosophy.  He freely chooses his activities from the low shelves in his bedroom and our living room and we ensure he has uninterrupted time to follow his choices through.  At just 10 months old he is able to ‘potter’ around and occupy himself independently for well over an hour at a time. We make the conscious decision not to interfere when he is playing happily on his own but, rather than taking a passive role at this time, we actively pay attention to both what he is choosing and how he is interacting with it. 

In his book The Art of Loving, Eric Frohm’s definition of love went further than ‘simple love’ to include ‘acquiring knowledge about the other person’ (in Gerber, 2002, p.167).  With Lincoln having so much freedom for exploration and self expression we are able to gain knowledge about who he is as a person and as a learner.  For example, with his passion for percussion instruments, not only have we increased the selection of instruments available to him, we have noted his creativity in making sounds and the connections he has made between hearing music and seeking out his instruments.

We also like to distinguish between the interests that are related to this moment in time and will pass, such as playing peek-a-boo games, spitting food, scratching surfaces and crawling through tunnels, and interests which seem to form a part of his lasting personality such as his passions for animals, the outdoors, social experiences and music.  While our home environment has been specially prepared for him, the skills he has developed as a result are already being transferred to other environments.  His ability to focus his attention and engage in activities is also noticeable at our weekly playgroup and when visiting other family members’ houses. 

Feeling competent is linked to achieving success and so ensuring Lincoln’s choice of activities are all at the right level of challenge is really important.  His independent tasks need to be achievable for him to manage on his own, and activities that are more challenging can be saved for the times we are actively engaged in play with him or are looking for ways to extend him. 

My commitment to the Montessori philosophy is directly linked to my desire for Lincoln to develop feelings of respect and competence.  These feelings can not be achieved through a purely doting relationship as they need to be derived from his own actions on his environment.  As well as offering him love and a warm caring relationship, I need to empower him with opportunities for independence, achievement and success.  The poet Kahlil Gibran, talks of self knowledge as being the most important form of all knowledge.  Perhaps the same can be said for self respect, self confidence and self worth, and what greater gift can you offer your child than these?

References
Gerber, M. (2002).  Dear Parent: Caring for Infants with Respect.  Resources for Infant Educarers: California.
Lillard, P.P. & Jessen, L.L. (2003).  Montessori from the Start: The Child at Home from Birth to Age Three.  Schocken Books: New York.
Montessori, M.  (1964). The Montessori Method.  Schocken Books: New York
Seldin, T.  (2007). How to Raise an Amazing Child.  Dorling Kindersley Limited: London.

Tessa MacTaylor
April 2009

I am passionate about the Montessori philosophy because it recognises and responds to the true nature of children.   Dr Montessori identified innate behaviours, or ‘human tendencies’ which explain how children act in relation to their environment.  At 12 months-of-age Lincoln is clearly displaying the tendencies of exploration and manipulation of objects. The Montessori philosophy emphasises the link between the use of the hands and the development of the intellect and we can see that with Lincoln’s mind hungry for knowledge, his hands are always occupied! 

Recognising the ‘human tendencies’ enables us to have reasonable expectations.  If we view exploration and manipulation as something that young children actually need to do, rather than just want to indulge in, we are less likely to ask them to go against their nature and ‘sit still’ and ‘not touch’.  Hands-on exploration is so important for young children that Dr Montessori offered the following ‘motto’: ‘things are the first and best teachers’ (Montessori,1986,p36). 

We offer Lincoln many interesting ‘things’ to explore and learn from and large amounts of time for his individual activities.   Among his favourite items at the moment are fridge magnets, tongs, wooden trains, blocks, pan lids, pegs, instruments, containers, boxes and a torch.  We remind ourselves that interesting objects to explore are not just purchased toys, and that some of the most appealing items for Lincoln are those he sees us using in everyday life.  As well as creatively exploring with them, he is now starting to imitate our actions, such as when he holds a nappy in one hand and shakes his container of powder against it with the other!

We must also remember that not all interesting things are found indoors.  The outdoor environment offers a feast for the senses and Lincoln just loves free exploration among natural surfaces, objects and creatures.  Offering Lincoln as broad a range as possible of experiences is really important to us because ‘the more extensive and complete the child’s interaction with the world, the greater the development of the knowledge within’ (Thomson, 1994, p133). 

While having the freedom to be himself is one of our greatest wishes for Lincoln, we also want him to be a likeable person and make positive choices in a social context.  Freedom without any restrictions may not reach both of these goals and so we do need to set some limits around Lincoln’s behaviour.  Dr M'ontessori never proposed a ‘free for all’ in regards to freedom, but instead encouraged us to ‘leave the life free to develop within the limits of the good’ (Montessori, 1969, p134).  The Montessori approach has clear guidelines for freedom which are proving just as useful for parenting as they are for teaching.  Respect for people, places and things is of paramount importance and so any actions which show a lack of respect need to be redirected.  We class safety issues as respect for self so we only have one framework to abide by!

Exploration and manipulation are two ‘human tendencies’ that are easily witnessed at Lincoln’s current stage of development.  Touching and experimenting with objects is his natural way of learning about himself and the world around him.  Wherever possible we support him with opportunities and resources, and keep in mind my favourite Montessori quote about the adult’s role  -  ‘We are here to offer to this life which came into this world by itself, the means necessary for its development, and having done this we must await this development with respect’ (Montessori, in Hainstock, 1986, p65).

Hainstock, E.G.  (1986). The Essential Montessori.   Plume: New York.
Montessori, M.  (1969). Dr Montessori’s own Handbook.  Schoeken Books: London.
Thomson, J.B.  (1994). Natural Childhood.  Hodder & Stoughton: London.
 

Tessa MacTaylor
June 2009